This morning I was cleaning the wooden stand that our bird lives on.  Jade’s stand has the usual bird stuff – a mirror, some shiny, jangly things, food and water dishes, and, most importantly, newspaper on the bottom.  The bottom of the bird cage must be lined with newspaper to absorb, for lack of a better term, all the bird crap.

There’s really very little to do when cleaning a bird cage besides changing the newspaper, which is always full of the white and green goo.

Over the years I’ve used the paper for many different things; anything but reading the news.  I stopped using the paper media as a news source back in the late seventies, when I worked for the NSA.  Back then we knew what was really going on.

My Army buddies and I worked shifts, usually mids and swings.  Sometimes we’d get off work at 7:30 AM, but it felt like evening because we were just getting off work.  We’d grab a copy of the Washington Post as we left the building, and head on over to one of the bars in Laurel for a beer-filled breakfast.  The most important meal of the day.

We’d sit at the bar and peruse the paper, trying to find something that was entirely true.  We tried to match what we knew with what we were being told, and we always came up empty-handed.  The closest we ever came to the “truth” was when we came across the comics and classified ads.  Although the classified ads seemed to be pretty honest, they were a little too depressing that early in the day.  There were far too many lonely souls.

However, the comics were definitely worth reading.  They were humorous, colorful, and they didn’t lie.  Finally, something of substance in the Washington Post.

Even today I merely gloss over the news sections of the paper, spending most of my time doing puzzles and reading the comics.  Every newspaper I’ve ever read promotes the agenda of the owners of that paper.  Some are liberal, some are conservative, and none are completely honest.

Sadly, most folks have adamant opinions about things based on their beliefs, which are based on their choice of news media, which never actually prints anything that is entirely real.  People who believe they are finding the truth in a newspaper are living in the bubble of lies that they have chosen.

So when I clean Jade’s cage each and every weekend, I occasionally look down at the headlines, trying to gauge what percentage of the inked space is actually true.  But whether I read the paper in an easy chair with a cat on my lap, or hover over Jade’s bird stand and read whatever words are visible between the large, wet globs of bird droppings, it really doesn’t matter.

Either way, its all full of crap.

2 responses »

  1. Lou Fisher says:

    Interesting. What about the sports pages?


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